I’ve been going to the gym for about four years now; which is just a local Anytime Fitness and not one of those LifeTimes (a gym so fancy they should call it a James).
In that time I’ve certainly run into a few “gym stereotypes” (the overly-sweaty guy, the grunter/screamer, the guy with the gallon of water); but nothing compares to the special assortment of personalities at my local gym. They’re not so much stereotypical as they are singular and eccentric.
There are plenty of average gym-goers; those who regularly (and inconspicuously) put in time. Naturally, this is the group to whom I count myself a member… however, maybe these people label me “the guy who’s been lifting for a while but hasn’t gained a single muscle”. Who knows?
Without further ado, I present: Characters at My Gym, starring (in no particular order):
- A guy who works out while wearing sunglasses.
- A guy who only uses 10 pound plates (even if he’s lifting 120 pounds… he’ll just use 12 ten pound weights).
- A middle-aged woman who’s obviously there to meet men. [looks at you over the top of my glasses] Obviously.
- Two guy/dude/bros who are super pumped to be lifting together and should probably just kiss.
- A woman who sprints as hard as she can on the treadmill for about 30 seconds, jumps off, catches her breathe, then repeats.
- An overweight guy who flexes in the mirrors after every lift.
- Talkative Timmy.
- Grunthos, the Flatulent (I don’t know his real name and am truly unable to get close enough to ask).
- A guy who has convinced himself he’s America’s NEXT Ninja Warrior (spoiler: he’s not).
- A guy who video tapes his workouts (brings a tripod and everything).
- The couple I’m convinced works out together as a form of foreplay.
I’ve also come to the recent realization that, if I get to the gym before 8am on Saturday I can completely avoid the yoga pants with Ugg boots brigade. This group believes it’s very important to establish a routine; which is why they go every January.