The Biggest Change for Nintendo’s Wii U

Nintendo marketed the original wii as the console that got kids up off their rear-ends and got them moving. However, children are both smart and interminably lazy. It wasn’t long before kids discovered that the games didn’t really require them to put the wii controller in their pocket and jog around the basement – they could just lay on the couch and flick their wrist. So how does Nintendo fix this? They make a nine pound controller.

Notice how the Nintendo rep has his elbows in tight close to his body like you’re supposed to do for bicep curls. That’s because Nintendo’s Wii U means strength conditioning while you get your game on.

This picture makes me wonder if they made that poor guy stand directly in front of the giant display screen in an effort to make the controller appear smaller (forced perspective).

And apparently it needs some sort of life-support system. I mean, take a look at that awesome hose accessory! Unless… is it possible Nintendo will release a Ghostbusters-stlye Trap device that connects to the Wii U controller? Imagine how that might improve the tired Pokemon franchise!

I wonder if the Wii U controller will also double as the Wii U Fit Plus balance board. If so, Nintendo marketing could say, “Nintendo engineers had to think small. To create the Wii U controller they reduced the size of the original Wii Fit balance board by 30%”.

Oh! Wouldn’t it be cool if the Wii U controller came with some sort of defibrillator app (edit: “channel”); because you already know what kind of batteries this thing uses. Come to think of it… maybe that’s what the giant extension cord is for.

Curiously, when you compare the product to the rumors, a few pieces are missing. For instance: where are the back-pack straps; and wasn’t there a tripod mount on the prototype? More importantly, what happened to the See-and-Say® pull handle?


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